Body language: Female courtship signals
Certain body language may be exhibited for reasons other than
sexual attraction. For example, a certain posture or attitude may be
struck out of habit, for the sake of comfort or because of nervousness.
real body reversers will learn how to interpretate correctly the
various signals. In other words: don't start getting too hot if a girl
gives you the "shoulder look", may be you'r just a pain in her neck.
- Women toss their hair, whether short or long, briskly from
side to side, over a shoulder, or away from the face to indicate
preening. Hair is removed from face to leave it exposed for male
- Sometimes with partially closed eyelids, the
woman holds the man's gaze just long enough for him to notice, then she
quickly looks away. This has the tantalizing feeling of peeping or
being peeped at, and can light the fires of most normal men.
- Women also use the sideways glance to show
interest. This glance involves looking at the man through partially
closed eyelids, but dropping the gaze a moment after it has been
- Licking the lips, slightly pouting the mouth, or
applying cosmetics to moisten or redden the lips all are indicators ofa courtship invitation. Unconsciously imitating the appearance of
sexually stimulated and receptive female genitals.
- Slight exposure of the shoulder from a partially fallen
blouse is again an example of "flirting." Rae Dawn Cong said it best:
"You can seduce a man without taking anything off...without even
touching him." This revealed shoulder is one example. Also the
"shoulder look": Looking at the man behind over a raised shoulder is
typical self-mimicry: the shoulder resembles the breast and so is
- When women massage their necks or head with one hand, it
has the effect of raising the breast on one side of the body
intensifying cleavage. It also exposes the armpit, which, even when
shaved, has an erotic significance.
- A female interested in making a subtle courtship gesture
might gradually expose the smooth, soft skin of her wrists. The wrist
area has long been considered one of the highly erotic areas of the
body. In this position, the palms of a woman are also made visible to
the male. This is an unconscious invitation to caress.
- Playing with any cylindrical object such as a pencil, pen,
stem if wineglass or finger is a reflection of subconscious desires.
- Sometimes women will even accentuate the roll in their hips
when walking in front of a male they want to attract.
- When a woman sits with one leg tucked under the other and
points the folded leg toward the person whom she wants to attract, the
message communicated is, "I feel very comfortable with you. I'd like to
get to know you better."
- Women tend to stand with their legs apart with weight on
one foot, when displaying a sign of openness or availability. This
draws attention to genital area. (Of course this may also be a feeling
of superiority, aggressive or impatience as well, duh)
- Slowly crossing or uncrossing the legs while being watched
by an interested male is a strong attraction signal, especially when
the female is slightly stroking her thigh.
- Women entwine their legs to draw attention. Most men agree
that the leg twine, (one leg is pressed firmly against the other to
give the appearance of high muscle tone which the body displays when it
is ready for sexual intercourse) is the most appealing sitting position
a woman can take. (Of course also: nervousness, shyness, defensiveness,
- Once the legs are crossed, sometimes a woman begins to
slightly kick her top leg back and forth. this kicking or thrusting,
again, displays a courtship signal.
- Dangling one shoe while seated in a relaxed position, with
one leg crossed over the other knee, is one of the most intense
courtship signals woman use to indicate interest in a male. Phallic
mimicry, as the foot makes tiny thrusting movements with the dangling
- Even when a woman keeps time to music with her head and
hands, leans forward towards a male, or even brushes the male's body
with her hand or breast, she is still conveying effective courtship
The palms of the hands face each other and the fingertips
touch, forming a shape rather like a church steeple. This is a
characteristic gesture that people make, usually while seated, when
feeling especially confident during a conversation. There are several
1. The high steeple
Both elbows rest on a table or desk and the forearms are
raised,so that the steepling fingers point upwards (Academics, Doctors,
Lawyers while delivering an 'expert' opinion).
2. The low steeple
Both elbows rest on the arms of a chair or the tops of the
steepler's thighs, with the forearm pointing forwards and the
fingertips steepling between the thighs or knees. Most women steeple
this way: in their laps if seated, at waist level if standing.
3. The concentrated (poker player's) steeple
The hands steeple while hidden under a table, for instance.
This tends to occur when an individual wants to hide his or her
confident feelings. Poker players may betray that they have a good hand
4. The semi-steeple
When sitting, the steepler places the arms in the low
position and the hands in the lap. The fingers of one hand clasp the
back of the other, which is CLOSED, and forming a fist, its knuckles
opressed into the upper hand's palm. This is a far ùmore
indication of confidence than the full steepling gestures.
Defensive hand and arm gestures
Crossing the arms in front of the body is an almost instinctive
attempt to protect the heart and lungs against threat (Remember "the
contrary position" as well: the 'hands behind the back' walkabout by
teachers or police on foot patrol, holding the head high and both hands
clasped behind the back has a precise meaning: this leaves the body
vulnerable front area unprotected and signals a combination of
superiority and self-assurance).
Basic crossed arms
Both arms are folded across the chest with one forearm
crossing the other, so that one hand rests on an upper arm and the
other arm is tucked between elbow and chest. We tend to do this
whenever we feel slightly anxious, for instance standing in a crowded
lift or in a queue.
Published: 7 January 2005