Quirky practice of flirting with women
Among the tricks used to exhibit sexual attraction, flirting
remains a well-tested strategy. It is used by both sexes. Many men makea habit of flirting with women. The following article examines what
motivates such flirtatious behavior, and it studies the current
effectiveness of this age-old method for catching the attention of a
member of the opposite sex.
While a young adult male may believe that flirting with women can help him to somehow expand the pool of women whom he might chose to date, the facts argue against such an illusory idea. In fact, Edward Laumann, Ph.D., the coauthor of Sex in America, has said, "...most of us end up with partners much like ourselves...You've got to get close for sexual chemistry to occur. Sparks can fly when you see someone across a room, but you only see a selected group of people."
In other words, when a man starts flirting with women he is normally trying to initiate a sexual relationship with a small, select group of women. More likely than not all of the women targeted by the man's flirting share with him some characteristic such as age, race, ethnicity, socioeconomic class or education. By flirting before only a select group of women, a man automatically limits the pool of women whom he might have the chance to date.
Still, the act of flirting with women can satisfy an important need. Flirting with women, especially a select group of women helps to alleviate some of the uncertainty inherent in the start of a relationship. Flirting with women provides a man with a way to respond to the fact that a woman's attractiveness has sparked his interest.
The question men must ask, however, comes down to this: How can the act of flirting with women convince a member of the opposite sex that their search for a suitable partner has come to an end? In order to answer this question, a man must examine what it is that women want.
In the past women sought man with power, wealth and status. These constituted the items that might assure a woman that a man had the ability to provide her children with security. Flirting with women frequently has the ability to convey to some degree a measure of a man's wealth, power and status. Present-day women, however, do not always look for evidence of those three character traits.
In the 1990s Psychology Today did a survey of young adult females, those who might be targeted by men flirting with women. The respondents said that thy looked for men who could empathize with their feelings, think on an intellectual level and have a sense of humor.
The survey results showed that younger more immature girls may remain attracted to men with a pleasant facial appearance or a striking physique. These young ladies could provide a young man with a good reason to flirt with girls. As both sexes mature, however, the rewards that once went to the boy who used to flirt with girls do not always translate into similar rewards for the men who insist on flirting with women.
So if the more practiced methods for flirting with women no longer have the same ability to catch a woman's attention, then men need to concentrate on other skills. They need to develop the ability to empathize with women, to see more of life through the eyes of a woman.
Most importantly they need to develop an unquestionable sense of humor. This seems to give the modern man his strongest guarantee yet of sparking the interest of an attractive lady.