Who should pay for dinner?

(Not you, yah wuss)

Most guys assume that if they are taking a girl out for dinner, they need to pay. This is not true, and buying dinner can have a negative impact on your chances with your date.

Here is what one girl was saying recently.

Should the guy pay for dinner?
I don't know... I kinda feel bad with him paying. Is he supposed to? I don't want to make him feel bad?

Now this is a good example as it points out 2 emotions that you do not want the girl to feeling:

• Pity
• She owes you

Pity

The quote above has a good example of pity, saying that “I kinda feel bad with him paying”. This is a bad emotion to be giving any date.

The problem with pity is that it puts her status above you. This is nearly like saying “I am not worthy”.

She owes you

If she is quite a caring girl, the act of you paying will make her feel as if she owes you something. You have gone through all this effort to arrange a date and you are now paying. She knows what most males would like to happen, and if there is no connection, she will try to leave the date at the first suitable moment.

Making it special

Don't pay on the first date, this is often what she expects and by not paying, she notices that you are not like the usual guys. When you pay on the 5^th or 6^th dates, she will start thinking “Ooo he might like me” rather than “This is how dates are done”.

This does not mean that you should start paying for all the dates. Paying for her should be once in a blue moon, and give her a rush of emotion strong enough for her to get 'high' on.

One way to make things a bit more interesting is to just do what she does not expect you to do. If she expects you pay for it, you pay half. If she gets her wallet out first, you pay for the both of you.

Tags: Date, Dinner, Money, Shy

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Comments / Replies

• 

  Sofia Says:
  19 April, 2009 at 6:10 pm

  I think that paying for a date really depends on the girl.  I know many of my girl friends who are fine with paying for themselves on dates, so that they don't feel obligated to the guy.  But please, guys, don't think that paying for the date is detrimental to your love life.
  
  There are many girls like me who are more traditional and expect the guy to pay for the first date.  I think it only shows that a guy is a gentleman (I'm also not suggesting that the man pay all the time).
  
  There have been a couple of instances when I've had a great time on dinner and then the guy didn't pay for my half.  Guess what.  No second date for him.  It's not that I didn't have the money-- it was more about his etiquette.
  
  Still, I want to emphasize that not all girls are alike and you should take your cue from their personalities.  But the safest bet is probably to pay for their dinner.  Because they wouldn't be having dinner with you if they didn't like you to begin with.  But what you talk about during dinner ultimately decides if you get a second date or not.  And in some cases, if you pay or not.

• 

  Brent Says:
  11 January, 2010 at 9:38 pm

  I agree with Sofia! As a guy I think we feel obligated to pay for dinner, or the movies, or whatever. And I think some girls appreciate it, wheras others may like to feel more independant and prefer to pay themselves. You really need to think of whether the girl is shy or outgoing, opinionated or open to ideas. If she seems to be upset you have offered to pay or paid or go to pay, then itll probably be best if you didnt. But on the other hand it could help her to understand you are generous and a gentlemen.
  
  It is really on a girl-to-girl basis (hopefully not too many girls!)

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