Asking a shy girl out on a date

A lot of men have a problem with asking a normal woman out on a date, for fear that she'll refuse - but asking a shy girl out on a date? Depending on the guy, it could be easy or need some work.

All the information available about dating is usually to do with attractive women who can handle most men - but what about shy women? Lets get one thing clear here, from the start: don't assume she is not interested in men. That said, if you look around, you will realize that there are a lot of women out there who are smart, look great, but are shy. It could be that they have just been brought up that way. All you have to do is to make a door in that wall, and step in.

The first thing NOT to do is appear very overbearing to her. Instead, show her that you are a little vulnerable too and concentrate on striking up a good conversation. The date comes later. Try to understand her world, and draw her out, let her know you appreciate her.  You might well be surprised to find that she might probably share the same interests as you and once you get talking about that, there's a good chance she might get animated and open up.

See, you've got to remember that just because she's shy, most guys might have probably ignored her - and it might just be a matter of getting her to talk! Have coffee with her, be casual, and come across as a friend and let her see the person you really are. If she likes what she sees, chances are very good she will say yes when you ask her out on a date.

Before you do that, understand what makes her shy. Is she shy only when there are people around or when you are alone? Does she hesitate to talk about her personal life? Once you determine what makes her shy, you can help her out of it.

Drawing her out

She needs time to get talking, so be patient. You must have had a chance to understand her a little by now, so try to get along with the side of her that you know. Perhaps she has a good sense of humour hidden under her shyness. Let her know you enjoy it. Reassure in different ways that she's attractive to you without actually putting it in so many words. Praise her about her abilities and talents - and this will increase her comfort level.

Listening to her is one of the best ways to draw her out. And when we say listen, we mean listen, not just hear. Everyone is passionate about something, and find out what her love is. It is always easier to become comfortable talking about a hobby or interest instead of a conversation that involves personal information. She'll like the fact that you are an attentive listener, since it will reassure her that you genuinely care about what she has to say.  And once you have reached that comfort level, just ask her out on a date. She'll say yes.

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